Losing
by reppad98
Summary: Losing hurts. And Cynthia knows that best. One-shot. LoliShotaShipping. Secret Santa Present for Time Signature.


**A/N:** Thank you for clicking on this story! This one-shot was written as a Secret Santa Present for Time Signature in the Xmas Secret Santa Exchange 2014! on the PokeWrite Forum.

A bit late for Christmas, but on time for New Year's Eve (for most of the world, at least). So Time Signature, I hope you've had an amazing Christmas, and I wish you the very best for 2015, with loads of inspiration and creativity! :D

And a happy New Year to all of you, of course. Enjoy!

**Disclaimer: I don't own Pokémon or the picture used as cover.**

* * *

**Losing**

For her, life was a competition.

She had to win, she had to keep fighting, otherwise she would lose. And she couldn't lose.

Losing _hurt_.

With this knowledge in mind, it made one wonder why she didn't completely avoid battles. And even more so, it made her career choice in professional Pokémon battling sound downright ridiculous.

But that was her way. She made a strength out of her weakness. The more she battled, the stronger she got, the more she won.

And that prevented losses.

Her Pokémon grew stronger, and the stronger they were, the harder they were to hurt – and so she wouldn't lose them.

So, in a way, losing the battles prevented losing something much more precious.

Maybe her logic was skewed, but it worked for her.

* * *

She had lost a lot. Gym Battles, friends, tournaments, family-

It was why she refused to go on a date with Steven Stone.

He shouldn't have used that word, really.

For the public, she was an open and friendly Champion, but that was just it – it was a persona. An act. She was Cynthia the Champion for almost everyone. Only her Pokémon and her remaining family got to see Cynthia, just Cynthia. Even her 'friends' got to see Cynthia the Champion. It didn't hurt as much when she lost them, then.

And no one ever got close enough to realize it was not really her.

With friends, she could pretend. With dates… No. It would get too real. Too close. She had to draw the line somewhere, because how much more could she pretend? Until she was fitting gowns for her wedding? Would her children only know her as Cynthia the Champion?

No. She refused.

And that was exactly what she did with Steven's offer.

* * *

He kept coming back.

It confused her, his persistence. Surely it must hurt, to have his affections thrown back in his face time and time again? But nothing showed, the same open smile on his face, as he asked her yet again.

Maybe, she had thought, he didn't care about her at all. How else could he just smile her in the face like that?

When she had voiced these thoughts to him – albeit in slightly different words – he had laughed, and she had felt ridiculed.

It was like a Pokémon battle, he had explained, after offering her an apology which she suspected he didn't quite mean. A Gym Battle, or a battle for the Championship. It hurts to lose, definitely, but you keep trying, because the prize at the end is worth it.

And it was good, he had added in a lighter tone, to lose once in a while. Keeps winning interesting, and keeps my ego in check.

She still said no.

* * *

Yet as the days passed on, she couldn't help but turn the comment around in her head.

The prize at the end was worth it? She had scoffed inwardly. Flattery would get him nowhere.

Was she missing something?

Were the losses really worth the win?

_You will never know_, a treacherous voice in her head had told her, _if you keep avoiding this battle._

It was safe to keep declining. She didn't know what to expect when she accepted. She didn't know when it would end, if it even ended. She didn't know the rules, the risks, the prize-

And she would never know if she continued like this.

And so, she decided to accept this challenge. And she would win it. Losing was not an option.

Steven was quite surprised when she turned up at his door, turning the tables on him by returning his old request to him.

When he said yes, Cynthia counted it as her first victory.

Many more victories followed, and somewhere along the way, she lost her heart.

But really, Cynthia concluded later, losing wasn't all that bad.

* * *

**A/N:** Well, I hope it wasn't all that bad, at least. Thank you very much for reading! It was difficult to write, since I don't know all that much about the characters, and there isn't much information on them – unless you count their appearances in the anime. But I hope it was enjoyable, some way or the other.

Please let me know what you thought about it! Thank you, and a happy 2015!


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